Procrastination. I wish I knew how to quit you.@3 weeks ago
Yeah. I know. Typical. But I’m about to graduate from college. Or whatever. So I guess it’s apropos. But seriously I’m kind of concerned. I know that I’m supposed to be feeling something about this, whether it’s relief or excitement or accomplishment but I’m just feeling malaise. I guess that’s just me though. I can’t imagine being out of school. I mean what do people do to fill their time? I guess work.
When I was a child my first job aspiration was to become a horse. I was told that this goal wasn’t physically possible, and thus my first dream died. I then decided to become a cowboy, because they were on horses like all the time and got to shoot guns and have sidekicks and yeah I wanted to do that. I vividly remember walking into my mom’s kitchen wearing a black leotard and a straw cowboy hat declaring, “alright mom, I’ll be a cowboy.” And she asked, “what about a cowgirl?” “Mom there’s no such thing as cowgirls all they get to do is be tied to railroads. I want to be a boy.” Shortly after my family got rid of cable.
But I mean over the years I had developed a pretty solid plan for that whole working thing, stay for the summer then go to join a couple friends of mine in South Korea in the fall to teach. But then North Korea got all crazy with ruining my plans and they evacuated all foreigners a couple weeks ago. So. Yeah I guess I’m not going there. I know everything happens for a reason but all I ever wanted an adventure you know?
And I mean I’ve imagined quite a few possibilities for my future, but I had never imagined what’s in the works now, being an Army wife. Gah. Weird. Even going back over that and reading it now. Army wife. I mean me? Geez. And planning a wedding? Like seriously? Idk it all seems absolutely ridiculous, and I mean absolutely, until I remember that guy I’m in love with. And yeah I guess it makes sense. Or whatever. No big deal.
And oh yeah I’m engaged. I’ll save that story for another post. Because right now I need to graduate, and for the next two weeks I can’t be focused on future plans and I’ve already spent far too much time away from my work. By my next post I’ll be graduated from college. I’ll see you on the other side I suppose.
“Your mountain is waiting,
So… get on your way!”